What a difference a week makes!

Just 168 little hours… 1 week ago, we moved into The Hovel (as it is now officially dubbed).  Below are my immediate thoughts.  Warning, it’s a tad sweary… What the fuckety fuck fuck have we done? This place needs so much doing to it!  98% needs repainting.  Much of it needs stripping off the woodchip wallpaper and then re-painting.  Or rebuilding.

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Damp in the master bedroom. All this woodchip wallpaper just came off in our hands. No effort required.
Walls really shouldn't be that colour!
Walls really shouldn’t be that colour!
Boxes, boxes everywhere and all the floors did shrink.
Boxes, boxes everywhere and all the floors did shrink.

The owner has done so much work so badly, taking so many shortcuts that I have no idea what else we’re going to discover.  The satellite dish feeds in through the upstairs window (which won’t close properly because of this).  The kitchen… urgh. The bathroom light needs a new bulb.  And suite.  And tiles.  Upstairs, the curtain rails are just pieces of wire.  Doors need paint.  Front door needs cleaning.

They'd started painting in the grey - but stopped when they hit a wall that was too wet for the paint to stick to.
They’d started painting in the grey – but stopped when they hit a wall that was too wet for the paint to stick to.

SO MUCH WORK. And the kettle’s broken. Damp in the lounge and master bedroom.  Due to the lack of a downpipe the rain is just pouring down the front wall of the house and soaking in.  And the house appears to be changing shape, although it is pinned front to back there seem to be some bricks shifting over the bedroom windows.  So we need a builder to look at the place ASAP.

Oven - condemned and illegal under current regulations.  "MIght" have been legal in the past...
Oven – condemned and illegal under current regulations. “MIght” have been legal in the past…

And the kettle’s broken. What have we done?


Has to be said, it could’ve been worse – thanks to a herculean effort by my brothers, the place was completely re-carpeted prior to our moving in.  And the boiler had been replaced, so we had heating and proper flooring. One week later, I’m sat in a snug lounge.  The house has a downpipe, the satellite cable is properly routed through the wall downstairs.  TVs are wall mounted, I’ve built 2 loft beds from first principles, cannibalising existing bed frames and some fence posts.  We’ve still got a shedload of stuff in storage (almost literally a shedload!) but that starts to come out again tomorrow onto the mountain of shelves I’ve put up.  Kids have started at their new schools and all is almost right with the world! What a difference a week makes.

Snug.
Snug.

Who needs soft play when your bedroom is like this!
Who needs soft play when your bedroom is like this!