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  • Stranger things have happened…

    That horse becoming pope?

    For one.

    So for a while now I’ve been rocking one of these little Keybow beauties on my desktop alongside the Accursed Surface Pro or the classroom PC. It’s truly a thing of beauty. And very, very useful.

    Currently I’ve got it mapped to automatically display a collection of PowerPoint shows in the classroom. Each of these contains a single slide and range from the Scarfolk “No – for more information please re-read” and “Don’t” posters, Emperor Palpatine hissing “Do it!”, a lovely Buddy Christ with “That sounds very much like a you problem” on it. You know, sympathetic stuff. It’s kinda my own personal QI Elves Klaxon screen. (Actually, that’s a good idea. Note to self, add the klaxon so everyone notices the new picture). And there’s another layer that has a load of Adobe shortcuts mapped to speed up demo’ing things to students.

    Downside to it is that it’s a little fiddly to configure, I have to remember that my OneDrive is mapped so on one PC and slightly differently on the accursed Surface Pro so it’s eating up 2 layers of shortcuts… And I’ve got to remember to move it from place to place.

    It is, however, still absolutely fantastic and I will get another for home use as and when they go on sale with a reasonable deduction. Unless I can get it to detect which device it is connected to and automatically load the right code.py file… Hmmm… Note to self, see if that’s possible.

    The strange thing, though, for today is discovering that Microsoft have made something useful inside Windows 10 and 11. You can remap your keyboard. Obviously the main use for this will be to re-map from Qwerty to Dvorak or Azerty just to annoy co-workers, shuffle some keycaps around on the keyboard, and wait for chaos to ensue when someone else tries to use the machine… But the other use is much more productive.

    You need to download the PowerToys – either from GitHub or straight from the Microsoft Store. There’s an exe file on the website but who uses those anymore? Once you’re in there, Keyboard Manager is just one of many toys available – edit your hosts file, keep certain windows always on top, find the mouse… Loads of stuff! Useful stuff. I’m genuinely surprised and pleased to find this!

    Go in to remap a key and you can get it to send text, not just single keys. I’m learning Twig templating for HTML at the moment, these two are a pair of the basic things I type a lot – why press three keys when you can press one? Haven’t figured out if it will send enter-presses yet. But this is extremely cool and very useful. Now if there was a way to save keyboard profiles so you could set up a layout for HTML coding, a layout for working with Photoshop, another for heavy-duty Excel work with your favourite formulae tied to these keys, that would be great. And I suspect if I shelled out for keyboard manager software that might do it. But this? This is a great tool and I’m hoping I can get it installed on the Accursed Surface Pro.

    The Keybow is fast becoming an essential piece of kit – the shortcuts it stores are stored on the Keybow itself, so as I move from machine to machine I don’t have to reconfigure anything. The Microsoft Keyboard Manager is local to this computer, so that’s where the shortcuts stay. But it’s a damn handy piece of software and just one of many inside those PowerToys.

  • The Inevitable B52 Mk II

    Right. It’s been a long time since I updated here but conveniently that means that the B52 Mk I is the post before this one.

    To remind anyone who’s not read the Mk I, the B52 was a shot cocktail we discovered at last year’s Warwick Folk Festival. Well, we’re booked for this year and I’m on a promise to deliver this cheesecake. The shot is a mix of Kahlua, Grand Marnier, and a sweet little Bailey’s top. So, long story short, coffee and orange.

    My wonderful wife has been experimenting with these things she calls “Breakfast Bars” in the intervening year, a shortbread-y concoction with a layer of fruit or jam in the middle. Very morish, absolutely gorgeous, and the over-ripe banana with a hint of cinnamon in the base is utterly divine. But the base mix… It’s got that crunch of a good biscuit, it’s firm, it carries the flavours above it… So we tried it as a cheesecake base and it’s next level delicious. So it’s now the new gold standard base. It’s sort of a shortbread, sort of a crumble topping, and sort of explained here, now.#

    The Base.

    You’ll need…

    • ~4oz plain flour
    • ~3oz butter
    • ~3oz caster sugar
    • ~1-2oz oats
    • Instant coffee, 3tsp
    • Zest of 2 oranges

    Oven to 180, murder blades in the processor thing.

    This is a very approximate thing. 4oz could be 3, could be 5, depending on whether it feels right when it’s mixed.

    First, butter and flour into the processor and blend until combined. Then add the sugar and do it again. Then add the oats – turns out these just bring everything together. See, told you it was more of a crumble than a shortbread. It’s definitely a biscuit at the end, though. Then chuck in the coffee and the zest, one final mix. Give it a taste, you should have a nice balance of coffee and orange. If one is dominating, add a little more of the other.

    Tip it into the base of your 23cm/9″ spring-sided cheesecake tin. Press it flat with your fingers. It really is a lot like making shortbread. I’ve not tried pricking this layer with a fork yet as you would with shortbread but that might happen next time.

    Into the oven, bake for 20 minutes. Yep, 20 minutes. Gives you plenty of time to make the mix. This is what it looks like before it’s baked, and the colour doesn’t change much in the 20 minutes. The observant among you will notice some more in the mixer. Might’ve made too much, oh no, have to make some little cheesecakes on the side. Damn. Woe is me, etc. etc.

    The Mix

    I’m not going to repeat the main recipe here, it’s largely the same. Except….

    When you’re heating the marmalade, don’t sieve it. The bits are rather nice. And add in some orange zest as well. The important thing is to check the balance of the coffee and the orange. Helps if you’ve got some orange essence kicking around as well to add bits in.

    Mix as well as usual, I’m sure you’re all old hands at this by now, and bake for 48 minutes or whatever you’ve worked out the sweet spot between 45 and 50 minutes is in your oven. Allow it to cool for a couple of hours in the oven before transferring to the fridge.

    Now I’m writing this while baking, it’s got 8 minutes left. I’m planning to top this with a lightly coffee-flavoured chocolate ganache – 300ml double cream, 400g Bourneville dark chocolate, and a teaspoon or two of instant coffee. I’ll update this post tomorrow once all is done and we’ve had a chance to taste it…

    Post-Chill Update…

    Right. Definitely got to try pricking the base next time. This one had a hell of a crunch to it but was a bugger to cut! And the ganache layer was a little on the thick side, half would’ve been perfect. But, and I guess this is the really important bit, the flavours were spot on! That was the B52 in cheesecake form. I’m extremely happy with that. The Mark III will be perfect!

  • In with the new(ish)…

    So. Russel T Davies is back at the helm (I’ll refer to him as RTD if I need to in future, it’ll save time). When he brought Doctor Who back, oh, ages ago now, he brought with it The Christmas Special. Other TV shows have one, so why shouldn’t Dr Who?

    Now I might be on my own here, though given the Whovians I know I suspect I’m not, but they’re not exactly the best episodes out there. I can’t quite bring myself to say that I don’t like them, but I’m not exactly fussed if I don’t see it when it’s broadcast.

    Okay, Clive, quick spin around the Christmas specials past and then back to me.

    Christopher Ecclestone regenerates, David Tennant takes over, RTD carries on as showrunner, writing all of the DT Christmas specials…

    2005. The Christmas Invasion. Couple of good ideas, a great inspirational speech that turns out to have been from The Lion King, and a solid Hitch-Hiker’s reference. Set the bar for Christmas specials.

    2006. The Runaway Bride. Can’t review, still haven’t seen it.

    2007. Voyage of the Damned. It was okay. Had Kylie in it, and the werewolf off the UK Being Human. Not entirely memorable.

    2008. The Next Doctor. Actually quite fun. Miranda Richardson as the baddie. Raised the bar a little.

    2009/2010. The End of Time parts 1 and 2. The Master is back, the Timelords are back (hello, Rassilon) and then they’re not (goodbye, Rassilon). An entire planet of Masters. And you can safely fast-forward through most of part 2. Not as good as 2005’s Christmas Invasion. And that’s it for Tennant’s run. The bar for entertaining is fairly low. None of these specials have been the stand-out episodes of these seasons

    Now Stephen Moffat has stepped up to the plate. We’ve got Matt Smith as The Doctor, and the bar is still low…

    2010. A Christmas Carol. Nope. Dreadful. Not even Michael Gambon playing definitely-not-Scrooge can save this one. I mean, it’s got a flying shark, for goodness’ sake. And not a sharknado in sight.

    2011. The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe. Nope. Dreadful. Not even Bill Bailey can save this one. Bar has sunk low now. But it’s still Doctor Who. I’m still going to watch it, even if it is usually in January now.

    2012. The Snowmen. Right. This is the exception. This is the one that works. This is the one that actually is a solid episode of Doctor Who and works even if it was a Christmas Special. Strax and the memory worm. “Madam Vastra sent me to see if you needed any grenades. She may have said help.” And Richard E. Grant chewing the scenery as a solid villain. Bar set high (spoiler alert, it’s not reaching this level again).

    2013. The Time of the Doctor. Reboot time. Got to find another cycle of regenerations somehow… Should’ve been the last episode of the series, not a Christmas Special really. Matt’s out, Peter Capaldi’s in.

    2014. Last Christmas. Nope. Dreadful. Not even Nick Frost as Santa can save this one. Inception with mind-altering space crabs.

    2015. The Husbands of River Song. I’m not sure I’ve actually seen this one.

    2016. The Return of Doctor Mysterio. Nope, definitely haven’t seen this one.

    2017. Twice Upon a Time. Twelve and One together. Don’t ask what a ‘browser history’ is. And Mark Gatiss (again, but as a good guy this time). Clever use of original footage, quite a fun story. Capaldi out, Whittaker in. Moffat out, Chris Chibnall in. Christmas out, New Year in.

    2019. Resolution. Scrap metal recon Dalek good, GCHQ tweeting everything’s okay, good. The rest, oh dead. And I thought CC had set the bar low with his general standard of writing Doctor Who. I was wrong.

    2020. Spyfall, Part 1. Nope. Dreadful. Not even Lenny Henry can save this one. And I’m sorry, I still don’t like Sacha Dhawan’s Master.

    2021. Revolution of the Daleks. Oh, good. Daleks again. It’s been positively ages since we had Daleks in a seasonal special episode. And no, not even John Barrowman as Captain Jack can save this one.

    2022. Eve of the Daleks. Oh, good. Daleks again. It’s been positively ages since we had Daleks in a seasonal special episode. To be fair, the blurb sounded good but somehow I never got round to watching this one.

    And that brings us up to date. Chibnall’s out (and there was much rejoicing), RTD;s back. New Year is out, Christmas Day is back. And after 3 somewhat strange episodes to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the show (the 50th felt like a celebration, this didn’t really. Not even Neil Patrick Harris singing “Spice up your life” can entirely save this one. I mean it was fun, but it’s going to cause problems…). Ncuti Gatwa’s now The Doctor and so in 2023’s Christmas Special we get to see him in action.

    2023. The Church on Ruby Road. Right. Watched this this morning. And I’m not sure. It’s a Christmas Special, so the bar was set low. And it just about cleared it. I’m going to throw no spoilers in here for those who haven’t seen it yet, but it’s a solid episode, one of the better Christmas Specials. I’m just not entirely sure… I mean the resolution to the whole thing was a bit off for The Doctor. Normally someone else would’ve brought the ship down and what happened would’ve been a terrible accident. Anyway… The fourth wall break at the end was nice, though. To borrow from Sir Terry (Pratchett, not Wogan) that bodes. Whether it bodes well or ill, we’ll just have to wait until May.

    There have been 19 Seasonal Specials. To my mind, the writers have never really brought their A-game to these. It should work as a standalone story, it should be entertaining, it should be a brilliant introduction that needs no relative to understand 60-years of continuity and it shouldn’t try to explain everything’s that’s ever happened in Who. This is The Doctor. These are The Doctor’s <companions/disposables>, Exposition and Comic Relief (Or is it Thing 1 and The Other One). It should be the one that converts watchers into fans who can’t wait for the next episode to come along. The only thing the Specials have done for me is really make me want a Victorian-era spin-off show with Madame Vastra, Jenny, and Strax. And we’ve still not got that, RTD…

    A plea for next year, as I have no doubt there will be a 2024 Christmas Special. Please, just tell a fun story and have it kinda make sense?